Husbands, love your Wives

Ephesians 5:22-28

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

It’s very difficult for a wife to be subject to her husband if she doesn’t have the sense that he loves her as Christ loved the church. The greater emphasis there is on the second part, not the first part. But in Fundamental Baptist circles for many years, the emphasis has been primarily on the first part, about women being subject to men. Sadly, it has not always been presented biblically.

Biblically we have no business expecting our wives to look to us for spiritual leadership if we don’t love them as Christ loved the church. Christ’s love for the church is unconditional, even knowing everything about us. And in the marriage relationship we are thrown together in the closest possible intimacy in a human relationship and over a long period of time, often a lifetime. That gives the enemy lots of opportunities to divide.

Oh, how easy a thing it is for there to be a rift between a husband and a wife over insignificant things! When a husband genuinely operates on the principle that he loves his wife as Christ loves the churches, these little foxes [meaningless conflicts between spouses] lose their power over us!

A great help for husbands in this high calling lies in an unexpected passage- 1 Peter 3:7-

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Any Christian husband that biblically regards his wife as ‘the weaker vessel’ will love her as Christ loves the churches. Think of this idea of a ‘weaker vessel’ being a beautiful porcelain vase. Like a true Ming Dynasty porcelain vase.

“The most valuable Ming vases, particularly blue-and-white porcelain from the imperial kilns at Jingdezhen, can fetch extraordinary sums. Vases from the Yongle (1403–1424) and Xuande (1426–1435) reigns are considered the pinnacle of Ming porcelain, with some examples selling for over $21 million at auction.” [1] Someone might errantly say, “Oh, it’s just a vase.” But to those who know, it is far more! So it is with a Christian man that has truly had his eyes opened to behold the mighty grace of God operating in and through his wife! We, as twenty-first century Christian men have much ground to make up in this area of our married lives.

How can I, as a Christian husband obey the mandate to love my wife as Christ loves the churches? Will such a love be reflected while I am considering her to be in some way inferior to me spiritually? What happens when a Christian husband treats his wife as though her spirituality doesn’t matter, so long as she ‘takes care of all her God-given spousal and parental responsibilities?’ Is this mindset pleasing to Christ? Is this conducive to sustaining an atmosphere of spiritual liberty in Christ?

Once we come back to genuine biblical thinking, we immediately embrace the fact that our wife’s ‘preciousness’ lies in the very fact of her fragility. A beautifully hand-crafted vase is literally ‘one of a kind!’ So is a godly wife. Christ’s unconditional love for me frees me to delight in walking with Him in my life. This is how it is divinely intended to be among Christian married couples. My wife is FAR more precious than a Ming Dynasty vase. I don’t know any other way to love her than to do so unconditionally!

[1] Searched: “Ming Dynasty vases prices.” Link to results is here: https://www.bing.com/search=Ming+Dynasty+vases+prices.